Loneliness

The symptoms of loneliness are feeling empty inside and thinking like unloved. We live in group or in community to avoid our loneliness and to avail socio-psychological security. Communities create institutions like family, marriage and kinship etc. to address loneliness in a personalized way.    The social institutions are changing and community does not have much control on individuals, loneliness is spreading and becoming an epidemic.

Unhappy, unloved and dissatisfaction are the new buzz words to rationalize loneliness. This also creates a form of social isolation. There is a very thin line between loneliness and depression. Loneliness is very personal whereas depression is a pathological and psychological term.  Both the terms are so widespread that they become a shared experience. Even we consider it as very normal.

Loneliness is gendered. Loneliness of women in general is underrated, less valued, less discussed and trivial in nature as like women’s anger. For example, as a woman if you show your anger and dissatisfaction or if you cry and sit alone or you are feeling unloved and feeling empty, these attributes actually negative. But these bad traits are considered and treated as very normal, in some extent these are also ignored by your family, friends and peers. Surprisingly, in case of men all those negative attributes mentioned above for women are valued and respected including anger. Male anger and loneliness is respected and labelled as masculine. Loneliness is always being a neglected factor for housewives .They are the target audience. Their loneliness is less discussed as it does not provide any economic benefit. As mentioned earlier, loneliness is an epidemic now. Most of us are affected by this but as per the need of institutions we have to show our loyalties by hiding our loneliness.            

This loneliness is created by us. Modern society believes in diversity. When we are in social diversity we help people to become individualistic and to create a sense of separateness or else we will become similar.  The more we become individualized, the more it becomes difficult to find a friend or a mate with same values and interest. We become very selective and choosier in our social circle; automatically it leads to weak social ties. Loneliness is colonized and modernized also. Now our aloofness depicts our status.  We impose a sense of loneliness among our children by selecting, deselecting and re-selecting their peers, choices and freedom.

Loneliness is a market economy. It is huge business. Travel, entertainment, night clubs, drugs, alcohol, bars, prostitution and above all Social media and Apps (Dating apps) are rising up. These mediums eradicate individual loneliness for a time being.

Loneliness is not sadness or depression. The opposite of loneliness is not happiness; it is liveliness .It is a condition. Don’t overreact to this. We are all human beings and are not so perfect.   We all are having some unmet needs, unfulfilled desire, far reaching dreams and recurring problems.  If we are conditioned to loneliness for a long run, we shall become meek and may become mentally ill.